Freak.

My body is so out of wack. I'm still spotting and I haven't had a regular period yet. The idea of getting pregnant again seems impossible with this blob for a body. I feel like such a freak. I'm still running regularly but I don't see any changes to my body. I feel fat and ugly. It's been getting harder for me to deal with thing now that Spencer's due date is getting closer. I feel so guilty that my body failed him. He didn't have a chance to live. When's the hurting ever going to lessen up?